Sometime during your dating life, it is very likely that you'll encounter an older man. Perhaps you'll find him in an upscale lounge as a handsome, put together, and well-dressed gentleman. Maybe you'll receive an interesting message from a sophisticated man a generation ahead of you on a dating app. Whichever way you encounter him, paying attention to him might become a great experience in your life.
An older man is considered to be someone who is at least 10 years older than you. He has the potential to offer a more refined and mature perspective on life and love. The experience provides you with a glimpse of your future some years down the line. You'll gain a fresh view much different from what you have encountered with whippersnappers your age.
Certainly, there are advantages and disadvantages to going out with an older man. In this article, we'll review the excellent reasons why this type of relationship will enhance your life and some of the challenges it poses. As you review the following pros and cons, you'll decide if this type of relationship will work for you and if it is your perspective that men get better with age.
Here is our list of the pros and cons of dating an older man - regardless of how many years older than you he is.
PROS Of Dating An Older Man
1. He has more experience and a broader perspective of life
A great advantage of dating an older guy is that you'll learn from him. He is someone that has been through major ups and downs in life and may be able to offer valuable advice. The mistakes he has lived through will serve as a guide so that you can be wise and navigate life more smoothly.
An older man will be more inclined to be a leader and help you elevate your evolutionary path, whether in bed or other areas of your life.
2. He knows himself well, has more confidence, and emotional stability
Socrates said, "Know thyself." Sometimes it takes people years to develop a sense of who they really are as human beings. When you know your true self, you are at peace with life and have emotional stability. This is more prone to happen in your later years as you sift and sort through the experiences of your life.
This emotional intelligence naturally brings confidence to a person and an overall pleasant disposition. This "can-do" attitude is very appealing, especially as a woman who wants a man that takes charge and is good at taking care of her. It feels good to have a rock, not a wimp.
3. He is at a point in his life of financial stability
Financial stability usually comes with age, although it is not true for everyone. An older man has had the opportunity to invest his whole life in his career and has learned how to manage and grow his money.
Being financially stable doesn't mean he will be a millionaire, it means that he is smart about investments and knows how to stay financially organized. It is very appealing to count on your man to have enough money to pay his living expenses, have a reliable car, and be able to be spontaneous when you decide to take a romantic weekend getaway.
There are plenty of young guys who are financially stable, but more frequently they aren't. If you're at the age of wanting to plan a family, an older guy is more likely to be ready financially, which can be a key factor in your relationship. Not to say that you can't fend for yourself or want someone for their money, but financial stability is one of the reasons many couples have problems.
4. Your sex life can be more enjoyable
As they say, it's not how big the wave is, but is the motion of the ocean. Older men have been around the block when it comes to sex. They have plenty of experience in satisfying a woman. With age, men tend to be more patient and had the chance to sharpen their techniques.
Many women are dissatisfied in bed because their man is a bit clueless in the sack - it is a common challenge young couples face. Although you can practice some things together to improve your sex life, it feels really good when you find someone that knows exactly how to turn your wheels.
In addition, you'll find that older men are not interested in quantity, but quality. If you've dated a young man, you probably know the familiar tap on the back in the middle of the night when you're just about to fall asleep. Older men tend to be more romantic and deliberate with their sexual advances. They know that they are better off keeping you happy instead of seeing you as a service station.
This is a big advantage in a relationship with an older guy as your sex life is a huge part of being in harmony.
5. You'll find healthy communication to be part of your relationship
Being a good communicator is a skill we all have to fine-tune. Not all older men have learned to communicate well, but they are likely to have more relationship skills and tend to be more tactful in conflict resolution.
Most older men have had at least one significant long-term relationship. Some of them are divorced or have had a series of long-term relationships throughout their years. With those relationships comes a lot of experience in resolving everyday problems and major emotional setbacks with their loved ones.
In choosing this type of partner, you're likely to enjoy a great listener and someone that has learned to express himself constructively. There's also a higher probability you'll enjoy phone time together instead of texts.
6. He is more likely to want to settle down and start a family
An older man is probably ready to find a lifetime partner and start a family. If he's in his 40s or 50s and hasn't been married or doesn't have kids, he will tend to be ready to start a home with someone more easily than a man in his 20s or 30s.
If you're looking for a lifetime commitment and you feel you're ready to start a family, looking for an older partner will bring you more viable options. The other advantage here is his financial ability and emotional wisdom to make all of this happen successfully.
You can have a family with anyone, but not all people are mature enough and financially secure to take on the challenge. Nowadays, there many people who are very fit and vital well into their 50s to be able to have babies. Our lifespan is extending and more people are choosing to be conscious about their lifestyle. All of these factors create a great formula for having a family and enjoying a long fruitful life.
CONS Of Dating An Older Man
1. He is likely to bring baggage into the relationship
Naturally, an older man has lived through lots more, and with that, comes some potentially unwanted baggage. He may be divorced with kids, which means you'll have to accept that he has significant others in his life. It can get difficult if you don't get along with his ex and if his kids don't like you, which tends to occur if they're teenagers and the family has separated recently.
It is important that he is completely over his ex and doesn't compare you to his previous woman. You'll also want to make sure he is not emotionally troubled by what has happened in his life. You're not there to heal his wounds, make him forget his past, or revive his life during a mid-life crisis.
Intuitively you'll notice if something is off and if he is ready to see life with fresh eyes. Don't ignore any red flags hoping things will change. When settling down with someone, things should fit smoothly, it should NOT be a big challenge just to start the relationship.
Think of it as a pair of shoes you're excited about and really want to wear, but they don't fit quite right. Then, you try to stretch them and do all sorts of things to try to get them to fit in the future. The reality is that they will never fit as smoothly as a pair that is made for you. Therefore, don't force any situation and have faith that the right person is out there for you, and that love is not meant to be a struggle.
2. Don't expect a strong athletic type
Although there are plenty of men that stay fit, they are not going to be in the same shape as a man in their 20s. A well-rounded relationship has a strong attraction both mentally and physically. Prepare yourself to overlook certain physical attributes if you're really into this older person.
If you're looking to start a family, choosing a man past 60 years old is a tough reality as he will not be able to be around as long as you for your kids. You'll want someone who is in great shape and has the potential to be there as your children grow up.
It is a bit harsh to think about, but the fact is that the older he is, the closer he is to kick the bucket. Be prepared to be a young widow if he is significantly older.
3. He might be stubborn and set in his ways
A young man is like a blank canvas that you're more likely to be able to design and mold. However, an older man is probably set in his ways and chances are that he won't be willing to change too much for you.
If there's something important to you that you don't like about this older gentleman, don't have any expectations that things will improve in the future. It is easier to find someone you admire and accept, instead of selecting an improvement project as some women tend to do.
Life is much easier when you go with the flow instead of swimming against the current. People are who they are and have rituals and routines with which you should not interfere. There are plenty of options out there, find one that resonates with you.
4. Your time together may be less spontaneous or exciting
This is certainly not the case for all older men, especially if they have plenty of disposable income. However, things that might be new to you, he has probably experienced already, which means he may not share the same excitement or desire to engage in those activities.
There are many adventurous men out there young and old, however, an older man may appreciate quiet evenings. He is more likely to be a homebody and find pleasure in the simple things in life. Perhaps cooking dinner at home and listening to music is his idea of a great weekend.
If you're still hungry for lots of excitement and spontaneity, you may face a challenge with an older guy. Don't expect him to be ready to jump up at the idea of going to a party or going dancing. They are also less likely to want to be social or engage in sports. Consider your own lifestyle and preferences and see if you are a good match when it comes to activities and the variety in your social life.
If you've only been dating people your age and want a new experience, dating an older guy can enhance your outlook on love. Why not try things at least once? You may find a new perspective is just what you needed to continue to evolve in your dating life.
The bottom line is that age truly doesn't matter. The key to a good relationship is finding someone that flows with you and your preferences. You will know when you find someone worth keeping around, so keep your heart open to all possibilities and you'll find amazing people who will come your way. Enjoy the journey to finding that special someone, and you'll certainly take the right steps.