Polyamory, also known as consensual non-monogamy or consensually dating more than one person at a time, is gaining popularity in the modern world. With more people identifying as polyamorous, dating sites have adapted to accommodate dating multiple people at a time.
Some sites started as traditional dating sites and have evolved to include non-monogamist relationships and all-new sites have been constructed specifically to cater to polyamorous relationships.
This list includes a combination of sites that welcome polyamorous people looking for a date. Whether you have practiced polyamory for years or you are new to non-monogamy and looking to test the waters, the sites on this list can help you navigate the polyamorous dating world.
Top 10 Polyamorous Dating Sites
Ashley Madison is the go to site for people that are interested in polyamorous dating. We have heard back from users who have reported unbelievable success levels with finding the hookups they are looking for on the Ashley Madison website.
They were founded in 2002 by Darren J. Morgenstern, and they go by the motto, "Life is short. Have an affair." So you know with a slogan like that, you are due to find some very edgy daters!
Considering that there are now over 65 million users, you should have no problem finding a hookup on Ashley Madison!
This site refers to themselves as “a professional dating site for busy American singles.” They achieve this by giving you a personality test when you sign up. Elite Singles claims that two-thirds of its users have either a bachelor’s, master’s, or doctorate degree. Because of this, Elite Singles is a great dating site for people looking for casual dating and non-monogamy.
While this site is not specifically designed for polyamorous relationships, the large user base ensures that you will find the person or people you are looking for.
Another large dating site with plenty of polyamorous people to meet is eHarmony. Although this site is not specifically for non-monogamous relationships, there are 10 million users to interact with and many of them are polyamorous or poly-friendly.
eHarmony was founded in 2000 and has been helping people find dates for nearly two decades.
Match is one of the most popular dating sites available today. While this is not a specifically polyamorous dating site, Match gets an estimated 35 million monthly users giving you a large pool of dates to search through. There is the option to mention your preferences on the site so your preferences are known to any potential date.
You do have to sign up before you can use the site, and the gender options are limited to male and female, but this is the largest dating pool for people seeking more than one partner.
This is the first site on this list that is fully dedicated to polyamorous dating. This service is for non-monogamous people looking for casual dating, hookups or even love.
You have the option to share voice and video introductions to put your best self forward. There is also the option to video chat, message, join groups and more which gives you plenty to browse between dates.
This site claims to "offer a safe and stigma-free environment" and to the under-served population of open and alternative relationships. They offer an alternative to most monogamous relationship sites for people who are interested in other types of relationships.
This site offers invitations to OpenMinded parties, private photo sharing and messaging. You can feel comfortable knowing that you are on a dating site with plenty of like-minded people who will not judge your lifestyle choices.
Another site specifically designed to cater to polyamorous people is BeyondTwo. While the user interface of this site is not the best, the site is 100% free to use.
This site was established in 2012 and is an excellent resource for non-monogamous dating. There are articles about polyamory, co-parenting and dating in groups among other things. You can also create your own groups and send gifts to members.
Although the look of this site leaves something to be desired, the articles and groups available to you, and the fact that the site is free to use will make this a great non-monogamous resource for you.
This website combines a dating site with social media for non-monogamous people. You can choose between groups of different types of polyamory including poly-curious, currently single, seeking committed polyamorous relationships and more.
The user interface of this site leaves something to be desired and it can be a little difficult to figure out how to manage, but the site itself is full of polyamorous resources to browse. This site is great for people looking for serious poly relationships or people just looking for casual dating as well.
OkCupid is probably the most popular free dating site available today. They cater to many lifestyles, religions, races and personal preferences. One thing that sets OkCupid apart from others is the ability to add gender identifiers other than male or female. You can choose genderfluid and bigender among other options, and you also have the ability to put your relationship status and whether or not you are looking for polyamory.
50 thousand dates are made every week on OkCupid from a variety of people with different lifestyles. Because the site is open to many different preferences it is perfect for non-monogamous people.
While this is not a polyamory specific dating site, Zoosk has millions of users around the world, giving you the option to find someone who is open to non-monogamy. This company has an A rating from the Better Business Bureau from all the satisfied users of the site.
Unfortunately, while it is free to sign up for Zoosk, you can't really do anything on the site without a paid membership. A membership with Zoosk allows you to contact other users and plan dates, which you wouldn't be able to do unless you paid.
Polyamorous Dating FAQ
How is polyamory different from cheating?
Polyamory and cheating are two very different things. There isn't anything inherently wrong or unnatural about having more than one romantic or sexual partner. In fact, these practices are commonly seen in many cultures all over the world. Casual hookup culture in the US frequently involves people sleeping with multiple partners.
The problem with cheating is that it's a betrayal of trust. When you enter a monogamous relationship, and you commit to each other, you make a promise not to sleep with or date other people. That's a part of the boundaries that you set down. And when a person cheats, they have violated the boundaries that you agreed upon.
Which means that cheating is actually possible in polyamorous relationships! When a person violates the boundaries of the relationship, that's cheating, just like it is in monogamous relationships.
Maybe three people are in a closed relationship, and one sleeps with someone else. Maybe a person in an open relationship doesn't disclose their partners to their other partner, even though that was part of their initial agreement. These types of things are ways that trust is broken.
How do polyamorous people make sure everyone's on the same page?
For people who have only dated monogamously, and who have never had any expectation of outside relationships, the concept of polyamory may seem mindboggling. Adding another person can be complicated, especially when trying to take into account everyone's feelings. But it isn't an insurmountable issue.
Healthy polyamorous relationships have a strong focus on open communication. Different people have very different levels of comfort. No two polyamorous relationships are exactly the same or have exactly the same boundaries.
Poly people are therefore very upfront about their current dating arrangements with their partners, particularly when flirting with someone new. They are clear about their intentions - whether sexual, romantic, or friendly - and they are open to discussions and questions to clarify their thoughts.
In a well-structured polyamorous relationship, all of the involved parties should know:
- What the terms of the open part of the relationship are
- Whether there's any discomfort at a partner having sexual or romantic encounters with certain people
- Whether there are any hesitations or jealous emotions
- What the commitment of the partners is to each other
- The value that everyone in the relationship has to each other
- The expectations for every relationship within the polycule
As long as people are clear about their intentions, experiences, relationship structure, and boundaries, it's actually not too difficult to negotiate a functioning arrangement.
Do polyamorous people get jealous?
Jealousy happens to everyone. Yes, even polyamorous people!
There are two definitions of a polyamorous person within the community. The first is an individual who has romantic feelings toward more than one person simultaneously. The second is an individual who actively practices non-monogamous relationships.
Just like monogamous couples, polyamorous people are prone to feelings of insecurity and jealousy regarding their partner. But because poly relationships don't tend to include an element of possessiveness, the jealousy is usually coming from somewhere else.
Poly people who experience jealousy have said that they've later discovered it was actually related to:
- They felt like they weren't getting to spend enough time with their partner and wanted more space for the two of them.
- They felt like their partner was giving other people in the polycule more attention, which made them feel slighted.
- They began to worry that their partner liked being around other people in the polycule more than them.
- They had a problem with one of the people their partner was dating but didn't realize it until the jealousy happened.
All of these feelings can be resolved by talking to the partner in question. In fact, most of these things have simple solutions. There's no need for jealousy to cause huge arguments or conflicts.
What are the most important things to know about polyamory?
There are a lot of things that can be said about polyamory. Some of the most important rules of thumb are:
- Communication and honesty are the most important parts of a functioning polyamorous relationship.
- Polyamorous people avoid engaging in the kind of possessiveness and jealous behavior that's common in monogamous relationships.
- Not every polyamorous relationship is casual, and some can be as long-lasting and emotionally intense as a three-partner marriage.
- Polyamorous people can come from any cultural background and any lifestyle; your mild-mannered next door suburban neighbor is as capable of being polyamorous as a person at a rave.
- Polyamory isn't inherently selfish, and polyamorous people challenge the cultural perception that monogamous relationships are the human default.
Polyamorous relationship structures can take literally infinite forms. The only criteria for a polyamorous relationship is that it involves some form of consensual non-monogamy.
Some relationships involve one person dating two partners who are friendly, but not involved. Some relationships involve all three partners having romantic feelings for each other. Some relationships involve more than three people in various branching arrangements.
It can get even more complicated when you add in other forms of non-traditional relationship like queerplatonic life partnerships. The web of platonic and romantic and sexual entanglements can get very difficult to draw in diagram form, especially as more people become involved.
With the growing popularity of non-monogamous relationships, dating sites have evolved to include alternative lifestyles. Whether you are looking for a long-term polyamorous relationship or a non-monogamous casual date, the sites on this list offer plenty of options for finding the date you are looking for.