Breakups can hurt - and trying to figure out what it will take to rectify a bad situation can be nigh impossible at times. You may feel heartbroken. You may be at a loss - after all, your entire may very well have just fallen down around you. And while a guide on the internet is no certain guarantee that you will without a doubt be able to bring your now ex-boyfriend running back to you, we have done some research to determine what will give you a chance.
It is important to note that these strategies may not work for everyone - remember, each person is different. If your ex is truly done with you, you want to make sure you respect his space. After all, you definitely don't want a harassment case on your hands. But if you think you have a chance and you aren't making your ex uncomfortable, we have gathered some of the best strategies to use to try to get your ex-boyfriend back.
Don't Look Desperate
Realistically speaking, you may be hurt - some people truly have a hard time overcoming a breakup. You may want to maintain steady contact with him, you may want to send him long messages detailing exactly how you feel about him, what he means to you, and what you would do to get him back. And that makes sense - that's a perfectly rational set of emotions to have in the days after a breakup.
Unfortunately, this is not the best course of action - in fact, it can be pretty damaging. If you act as though you are dying to get him back, you are more likely to chase him off. Your best course of action is to maintain your distance from him, at least briefly - don't initiate contact and give him his space.
It is important to understand that in many cases, your ex is going to want his space, at least for a bit. And you need to respect that - if he feels like you are trying to smother him, you may lose your ability to contact him, and you definitely don't want that, because you will need it later.
Essentially, you want to act as though you are not desperate to get his attention. If he feels that he is being smothered by you, he will cut you off. Plus, you need to use the distance to your advantage.
Using the Distance
Utilizing the distance is one of the best things you can do. If your boyfriend wants to get back with you, even a little bit, maintaining that distance will drive him crazy. Not only will it make him want to talk about you - it will make him think about you more and more each day.
While you aren't talking to him, you need to focus on you - utilize tools such as journaling and meditation. It's important, during this point in time, to work on getting your own emotions in check. After all, you won't be any good for your ex-boyfriend when he comes back to you if you haven't dealt with your own emotions and figured out how to better yourself.
You should also focus on the problem at hand - obviously, there was a reason your ex-boyfriend left you. Think about it this way - if you try to get your boyfriend back without substantial evidence that you have tried to fix the problems at hand, what is going to make him actually want to go back to you?
Obviously, you also want to focus on what you would need him to fix - but this is your chance. Make the changes you need to in order to be a better version of you - the kind of version that your ex-boyfriend just can't resist.
One of the best things you can do to get your ex back is to become the type of girl he simply cannot seem to get - be a little bit elusive. Imagine if you developed all your best qualities - you become the girl of your ex-boyfriend's dreams, but always just out of reach.
Some of you may find the pace of this particular method somewhat frustrating. The point, however, is to turn you into the object of your ex-boyfriend's desires. Once you know what he wants you, getting him back will be easy, to say the least. If you spend your time throwing yourself at him, though, he may get frustrated with you. Throughout the course of this process, it is important to understand your ex-boyfriend may need space.
You just want to give him more space than he was expecting. Once you know he's noticing you, once you've given him that time and space and developed yourself, you'll be set to make your next move towards getting your ex-boyfriend back.
And remember - avoid that little voice at the back of your head. You might, throughout the course of this process, be tempted to call or text him. However, being the girl who seems aloof will draw him in far more than a cute text telling him that you were thinking of him ever will. And if he calls you, you don't necessarily have to answer. In fact, not answering him may drive him a little more crazy.
Play the No Contact Game Until He's Ready
You will definitely know when your ex-boyfriend is ready for contact again. In a lot of cases, an ex will expect you to want them back - especially if you were the one who was dumped. However, giving them what they want doesn't get you anywhere - in fact, it proves their point. In some cases, if you go crawling after them, they see it as a sign that you are obsessed with them, and that you don't respect their need for space.
But eventually, he will start trying to talk to you again. Maybe he will see you at your favorite coffee shop and say you look nice today, or send you a text message letting you know he was thinking about you, or that he misses you. You want him to want you before you act as though you want him - that's the primary name of the game here. If you can make him think maybe you've moved on, in a lot of cases, he will want you even more.
Once you know that he is interested again, initiate contact slowly. You know what you want, now - and in this case, you are in control. It's your job to make him realize that you are what he wants - not to try to convince him that you are. If you immediately answer all of his messages or try to start a conversation with him every single day, he will know you have been pretending to be uninterested.
So utilize this time without him and give yourself a glow-up treatment. Once he sees you shining, he is going to want to do anything at all to get back with you, and that's the goal. Make him want you, and then you won't have to try to fight for him - and give him what he wants slowly. In essence, this is an attempt at a power play. You are taking a situation in which you could very easily be the desperate one and turning it around. It's a psychological trick that often works well to regain someone's interest in you from afar.
Of course, this method won't work for everyone - as we explained at the beginning of this article, there are times that you simply are not going to be able to win someone over again. If that's the case, just know that it is okay to move on. However, if you feel like you might still have a chance at winning your ex back, using the passive silent treatment, while treating yourself like the real queen you are is the best way to see to it that it happens.
There are other ways to go about it, sure, but you want to try your hardest not to look desperate. Entire groups exist online to assist individuals in winning over their lost loved ones. Some individuals in these groups have been wildly successful - when their ex saw just how great they were, they eventually came running back. It takes time, and it is a refined art, but it works out in most cases and individuals end up getting back together.
If it doesn't work for you, we are sorry! However, at that point, it may be time to consider if your ex was ever really the right person for you. Come on, if they can't appreciate you when you take the time to take care of yourself and be the best version of yourself, are they really going to appreciate you if you hit a low point and slip up a little bit? It is important to consider, once you have taken the time to heal, what you want - and if it's your ex, go for it. But if not, remember that it is okay to decide that it is time to move on.